It’s been 19 years since I first started pole dancing – an equinox of sorts. For folks who are newer to the blog, at 19 years of age I took part in a pole fitness class in my hometown of Drogheda on Summer Solstice 2006. It was peak Celtic Tiger and this was the latest fitness trend on the scene; I was an art school undergrad with big notions and little self-confidence. A whole lifetime ago.
I’ve been looking forward to this auspicious anniversary eagerly since I wrote last year’s reflective blog post. I was living in Sevilla whilst on a 3-month artist residency, a sunny interlude during what’s been a period of So. Much. Change. I have a memory of sitting in that rather bougie bar alone with my mojito, pondering where I might be and what my life might look like as I celebrate my 19th poleversary.
Now that I’m here writing this blog post, it feels almost surreal. On Wednesday night I pole danced on stage with Steel Panther at Vicar Street, Dublin. I certainly did not envisage that this is how I would be marking my anniversary, but here we are.
My body still feels tired and just a wee bit stiff three days after the event. I am reflecting on so many different but connected things, not just on how my body takes longer to recover from nights spent pole dancing than it did back in the early days. Mostly, I’m reflecting on how appreciative I am for this body that allows me to have these experiences. To exist in this space and time, to dance and feel everything deeply.
Watching side-stage as the Steel Panther show opens with a roar, my friends Stacey and Chloe take to the two poles flanking the stage. The opening number is the anthemic ‘Eyes of a Panther’, soaring guitar melodies with relentless bass and drums as Michael Starr’s vocals make my hair stand on end. As Stacey struts onto stage wearing a yellow rhinestoned bodysuit and 8-inch glittering stilettos. She freestyles with all the ease and charisma only possessed by someone with over 15 years’ experience on the pole and a natural affinity for all things rock ‘n’ roll. She busts out a Jade Split and an Ayesha with hair whips aplenty, meanwhile Chloe shakes her bountiful ass with aplomb and artistry. It’s a beautiful sight to behold and I allow myself to feel a deep appreciation in every cell of my body. My heart fills and my eyes well up.
Kerri and I are waiting in the wings for our set. Then comes our turn to take the stage for ‘It Won’t Suck Itself’. It’s showtime and I shift gears into showgirl mode, feeling my power and presence. I feel it all vibrantly, and my favourite memory is hearing the audience roar as I pulled off my no-hands Jade split, as Michael Starr turns and points at me in a gesture of ‘Look at her!’.
Steel Panther are carnivalesque in their performance of killer hooks and soaring guitar solos, every beat and detail performed immaculately whilst parodying the patina and performativity of heavy metal in a knowing, tongue-in-cheek critique.
There are so many moments and things that I can say about this show and the fun that we had on and off stage. And, there are also so many things that I want to say on this anniversary about my changing relationship with pole dancing as my craft develops, and indeed my body and my life change through the years.
Let’s be real – the stainless steel stick does not care about how many years pass by as I move around it. It does not define who I am; as I said in last year’s blog, it is not a substitute for a personality.
That being said, this pole has been a fixture in my life for half of it now. There have been so many phases on this journey with it. I started as a learner, then became a competitor and pole dancing champion (several times over). I fully moved into performing, becoming a driving force for pole dancing in the Burlesque scene (gold star for those who can remember The Lovecats). Then of course I became an instructor after 3 years and then a studio owner, which is just kinda what you did back then. The industry was small, so if you were someone who was really into pole dancing you set up a studio because there were simply not very many and there was a need for local ‘pole communities’ and sharing of knowledge and skills that existed not just on YouTube.
Now I am in a completely different phase – a performance artist moving into academic research with this metal pole at the centre of my practice.
I feel like every year that I write an anniversary reflection I talk about how excited I am about the future and this year the same rings true. Also, I am excited and in love with the present.
On that note, I would like to stay and continue writing thoughts and reflections on this poleversary. But I want to go out into the sun and enjoy a beer with my love.
I don’t care if this sounds cringe, I’m following what brings me joy and sets my heart and soul on fire, whether that’s dancing on stage and rocking out, enjoying a quiet coffee alone, geeking out on art and academics, or spending time with people who make me feel loved and seen. I wish the same joy for you.
Thank you to all of the amazing people who’ve been a part of this journey and who are here today supporting me in it. This includes you, reading this blog. 🖤
My humble request: If you enjoyed this blog and found it inspiring or took something out of it, why not pay it forward by tipping me the cost of a coffee? It is a small gesture with a big impact, your generosity helps me to continue making my art. I appreciate it immensely.
I’d love to know what you thought of this blog. Please reach out on Insta (@arlenecaffrey) and please tag me if you are sharing this blog – sure isn’t it the polite thing to do. 🖤
